When did 7th Heaven Lose Its Halo?

I'm a nostalgic kind of gal'.

As a 90s' kid, my comfort show is any show that I used to watch on TV when I was younger. There's something about those square-shaped episodes, blurry backgrounds and saxophone solos that just deeply warm my heart. The jingle starts and all of a sudden, I'm eight again, sitting on the floor in front of the TV in our old family house, eating my after-school snacks while watching the massive screen that was, at the time, heavier than you could ever imagine.

Besides the fact that I have grown into a bill-paying-adult and own now the smallest, thiniest and lightest TV there is on the market, I have changed along the way and have noticed that what was once acceptable is now a red-flag that I'm surprised to encounter as if it was never seen before. I'm therefore forced to acknowledge that our societies have evolved as well as our values. Is that a good or a bad thing? Well, I guess that depends on the person you used to be, are and want to become. 

What I do know though is that one of the biggest differences that I notice now, come from the language itself. I watch and listen to my shows in their native language and not in voiced-over translated versions - the same versions we still broadcast on TV nowadays. Meaning that what I used to hear in my mother tongue is now mostly listened to, in American English.

Why is this so important? Because I realized - way too late, according to me - that a big part of an actor / an actress' game is his / her voice. It carries emotion and meaning. Forcing a translation on someone is, whether it's wanted or not, changing one's speech and message. What for? To adapt it to another audience. To turn what's not acceptable here, into something agreeable there. To make sure that it will be understood here, as it wouldn't if the message was left the way it was delivered at first. By using a translation / a translator aren't we agreeing to give some kind of power to someone or something that will change our words into something different? I don't have an answer to this question yet, but I'll keep wondering.

Anyhow, I must now face the 'real' messages of what I watch and listen to and, believe it or not, it's way more difficult than it sounds. I've mentioned it earlier: social values, rules and speeches have changed over the years and as a consequence, so have we.

I have recently been rewatching 7th Heaven. Actually, I have started that rewatch almost three years ago but life happened and it coupled up with boredom which had an easily expected consequence: I gave up halfway. But, here I am, back at it and ready to get some news from my favourite Camden family. Another funny thing is that I remember giving up out of boredom for the show and business from daily-life events but I don't remember stopping because I got mad at the show for being so old-fashioned or anything else negative. Did I change that much in three years? Again, I'll keep wondering.

Today, I'm facing that edge again: giving up or not giving up? There's a third option no one told me about: writing about it and at the same time, letting go of the frustration. What could have been an angry review in an episode comment section from twenty years ago, I decide to turn into a simple, daily disappointment: I decided to rewatch one of my favourite childhood shows and it broke my heart. No one cares? True. It's not the first time it happens though. Somehow, it reminds me of something else. That very same feeling when we find back something long-lost and, right after that very short episode of excitement directly connected to our inner-child, the adult within comes back and realizes it's not as fun as it was. It's not as exceptional, not as great or as funny as it was when we were ten. This thrilling feeling of nostalgia, as short as it can be, is the only time-machine mankind has ever managed to put together. My guess is, it's the reason why we, 90s' kids, keep on watching old shows, wearing old clothes, eating soup, going to bed early and picking up new hobbies.

But, what was so awful about that show that I wanted to give up on it twice and decided to write a whole freaking article about it, you may ask? Nothing else than what you can easily imagine: the usual misogynistic comments, the close-mindedness in what's depicted as open-mindedness, the demonization of everything that doesn't fit the 'family-values', 'American patriotism' or 'religious conventions' boxes. The list could be way longer than that but it wouldn't do any good to anyone to list them all. For that, you'll find plenty of angry comments online.

What I'm interested in is: why does it trigger me now? I'm amazed at how all this change has happened to me and now, I'm considering letting go of something that was once very dear to me, again. But then I realize, it happens to all of us in life and not only with shows from our childhood but with memories, objects or even people we hold on to for so long and one day, we decide it's over. How does change impact us so deeply that we both fail to notice it and ultimately accept it? I feel like I'm being the victim of my own evolution. When I look over my shoulder I see a younger version of me asking this simple question: can I be proud of who we have become? It's the warmest and most comforting message I get from an old reflection in the miror: the last person I want to disappoint, is myself. My experiences, my thoughts, the people I've met, the life I've lived led me to who I am today and that same person doesn't want to deal anymore with these messages that were once acceptable to more innocent ears. Unfortunately, these outdated messages have become deeply rooted assumptions, making them harder to dismantle. Now in my 30's, I have to untangle all of these old concepts, and rebuild my understanding of the world and of myself. As you can read, I'm quite busy.

In a few words; learning English has allowed me to understand the depth and the weight of the word 'language'. As a matter of fact, it does include much more than a couple of grammar rules and a few lists of vocabulary words. Also, be mindful of the changes you let yourself be impacted by. You never know how they may influence your future life and your future 'you'. It goes both ways: what was acceptable once may not be so today but what you thought wasn't correct once can seem like a good idea today and, depending on what that is, it might be way more dangerous than what you understand it to be...